Today I am 44.

And I am thankful to be alive.

I have so much to be grateful for.

My day started beautifully. I had coffee with my would-have-been colleague from the Community College System. He told me about the plans their team had for me, of eventually taking the CTE Director role, and he talked about how hard it is to find compassion, people skills, and leadership individually, let alone in one person. He made my eyes water. And I felt some regret for turning down the job with the NCCCS, especially after Tony told me this morning how hard he and Bob had tried to recruit me the first go round three years ago (but were overturned by other decision makers) and this last go round. I tell myself I made the best decision based on the information I had at the time, and I have faith that “this or something better” will come along. Tony said the person they hired is older than he is, i.e. will be retiring soon, so that job may come back around. Fingers crossed. I would love to work for the Community College System and position myself financially this year to be able to take a job for love and for service and for personal passion.

This is a long way of saying I started the day with love and appreciation.

I answered a call from my mother just before pulling into the coffee shop parking lot. And she made me want to cry for a different reason. My mom called to say “happy birthday” but the conversation quickly turned into an inventory of all that is wrong in her life, how she is so busy, and how she wants to visit but not when Steve comes, because that would make her uncomfortable, etc. etc., so I am starting the day tending to her needs before I have had a cup of coffee.

Thank you, God. Thank you for connecting me with Tony, who reflected to me some of my better qualities and reminded me how joyful it is to do service work.

I am truly happy to be here, still learning and evolving, at 44.

2 thoughts on “Today I am 44.

  1. dddish says:

    Hey birthday girl! You are evolving right before my eyes! You have put your intention out to the universe and now you will have to wait (the hardest part) for your opportunity. In the meantime, enjoy your world and just know that your Mom’s world is shrinking. I think complaining is her way of displaying affection! (I.e. my Dad)
    🎂💜💕

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