I went to meeting last Friday night – and was so grateful I did. A friend from the group texted to say a woman was going to give her story, and I didn’t want to miss this. In fact, the woman was absolutely amazing. As another friend from the group said at the end of the meeting: “That was like the best thing I’ve ever heard in my life. If I could remember 1/5 of what you just said, I’d be in great shape.”
I wished I could have recorded her story; there was so much there to unpack and remember. In particular, I loved her concept of love addiction being progressive and getting worse over time. She described addiction as a disease, so like a chemical addiction, one needs to get higher and higher to counteract the numbness. In my experience, I would say that is true.
She also talked about love addiction being about not feeling like she was not enough and looking for other people to validate that she was enough–and sex being the tool to get love. Honestly, the self awareness and understanding and recovery work this young woman had done, and to be less than 30 years old, I was just blown away by her and so grateful to witness her story.
She had some great slogans too.
I want to share them here for myself to remember and for anyone else who could benefit:
- This or something better. This is the believe that God or your Higher Power (HP) will not take away the thing that you are so afraid of losing or are addicted to and leave you with less. Life will bring you this or something even better than you could ever have imagined. Hashtag faith.
- My mind is for entertainment purposes only. The idea that there are many dark alleys in our minds, from fears, to playing out multiple scenarios, to overthinking. The mind is a scary place to spend a significant amount of time, and what lives there is not reality.
- Pause and let God. This is the idea that when we are anxious about something, and in addict mode, trying to hold on to something tightly, or control through our codependence, it’s much better to pause and see what God has to say about the situation. Take a breath and leave an opening for your HP to bring you what you need.
I know there were others. I need to consult the ladies to see what they remember.