Love addiction resources

(some light reading and thinking for later today. i am motivated to change.)

Taken from The Lovely Addict, taken from LAA Love Addicts Anonymous
40 Questions To Help You Determine If You Are a Love Addict

If you can answer yes to more than a few of the following questions, you are probably a love addict. Remember that love addiction comes in many forms, so even if you don’t answer yes to all of the questions you may still be a love addict.

yes no

1. ___ ___ You are very needy when it comes to relationships.
2. ___ ___ You fall in love very easily and too quickly.
3. ___ ___ When you fall in love, you can’t stop fantasizing—even to do important things.
You can’t help yourself.
4. ___ ___ Sometimes, when you are lonely and looking for companionship, you lower your
standards and settle for less than you want or deserve.
5. ___ ___ When you are in a relationship, you tend to smother your partner.
6. ___ ___ More than once, you have gotten involved with someone who is unable to
commit— hoping he or she will change.
7. ___ ___ Once you have bonded with someone, you can’t let go.
8. ___ ___ When you are attracted to someone, you will ignore all the warning signs that this
person is not good for you.
9. ___ ___ Initial attraction is more important to you than anything else when it comes to
falling in love and choosing a partner. Falling in love over time does not appeal
to you and is not an option.
10. ___ ___ When you are in love, you trust people who are not trustworthy. The rest of the
time you have a hard time trusting people.
11. ___ ___ When a relationship ends, you feel your life is over and more than once you have
thought about suicide because of a failed relationship.
12. ___ ___ You take on more than your share of responsibility for the survival of a
13. ___ ___ Love and relationships are the only things that interest you.
14. ___ ___ In some of your relationships you were the only one in love.
15. ___ ___ You are overwhelmed with loneliness when you are not in love or in a
16. ___ ___ You cannot stand being alone. You do not enjoy your own company.
17 ___ ___ More than once, you have gotten involved with the wrong person to avoid being
18. ___ ___ You are terrified of never finding someone to love.
19. ___ ___ You feel inadequate if you are not in a relationship.
20. ___ ___ You cannot say no when you are in love or if your partner threatens to leave you.
21. ___ ___ You try very hard to be who your partner wants you to be. You will do anything
to please him or her—even abandon yourself (sacrifice what you want, need and
22. ___ ___ When you are in love, you only see what you want to see. You distort reality to
quell anxiety and feed your fantasies.
23. ___ ___ You have a high tolerance for suffering in relationships. You are willing to suffer
neglect, depression, loneliness, dishonesty—even abuse—to avoid the pain of
separation anxiety (what you feel when you are not with someone you have
bonded with).
24. ___ ___ More than once, you have carried a torch for someone and it was agonizing.
25. ___ ___ You love romance. You have had more than one romantic interest at a time even
when it involved dishonesty.
26. ___ ___ You have stayed with an abusive person.
27. ___ ___ Fantasies about someone you love, even if he or she is unavailable, are more
important to you than meeting someone who is available.
28. ___ ___ You are terrified of being abandoned. Even the slightest rejection feels like
abandonment and it makes you feel horrible.
29. ___ ___ You chase after people who have rejected you and try desperately to change their
30. ___ ___ When you are in love, you are overly possessive and jealous.
31. ___ ___ More than once, you have neglected family or friends because of your relationship.
32. ___ ___ You have no impulse control when you are in love.
33. ___ ___ You feel an overwhelming need to check up on someone you are in love with.
34. ___ ___ More than once, you have spied on someone you are in love with.
35. ___ ___ You pursue someone you are in love with even if he or she is with another person.
36. ___ ___ If you are part of a love triangle (three people), you believe all is fair in love and
war. You do not walk away.
37. ___ ___ Love is the most important thing in the world to you.
38. ___ ___ Even if you are not in a relationship, you still fantasize about love all the time—
either someone you once loved or the perfect person who is going to come into
your life someday.
39. ___ ___ As far back as you can remember, you have been preoccupied with love and romantic
40 ___ ___ You feel powerless when you fall in love—as if you are in some kind of trance or
under a spell. You lose your ability to make wise choices.

Total ______ yes
______ no
© Love Addicts Anonymous

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