i have a problem. i don’t appreciate what i have. who has loved me more than Darrell? i didn’t appreciate him when we were together, and so i broke up with him and broke his heart. wth is wrong with me? and do i really love him and want to be with him? all this time, i’ve longed for Steve, and now i’ve ended with Darrell, i think maybe there is no going back. i am scared of being with Steve and scared of being without Darrell. i am batsh!t and all i can think right now is Darrell is on the other side of the world hurting, and i made him feel that way.

instead of wanting to run to Steve, i don’t want to see him. i am thinking about how hurtful this breakup is to Darrell.

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