it's when i'm alone that anxiety takes over, and i make up feelings. perhaps i really love Darrell, i can say to myself. but when i'm in the moment and paying attention to talking with him, i feel that i care for him and maybe even love him but don't love him deeply as a … Continue reading listening in the moment
Mom did a drive by last night. Mr. Song had an immigration appointment in Durham, so they hung out at McDonald's, until Ed and I got home. Mom always arrives in a hurricane of shopping bags, plastic containers of food, and whatever OCD-binge over stock she has in her freezer, like eight packages of pastrami … Continue reading Drive by mom visit
Mo invited me for a run, and I saw Steve tonight. I didn't die. I felt a little nervous inside, but mostly happy to see him, like all is right with the world, if Steve is in it. He's so stinking adorable. Mo and I were talking, and he was nice enough to come over … Continue reading moving on
I saw Tom and Sonia and their two new Nigerian Dwarf goats tonight. Good evening. Sonia lamented some work drama, and Tom showed off his new goat shed and bunny house. Sonia mentioned something about Steve and asked if he'd moved, mentioning after we'd broken up, Steve talked about moving to California. God. How could … Continue reading I’m still working on moving on.
i'm going to new zealand. decision made. no more waffling. i'm kind of excited. most important, i think i can do this without setting myself back and returning to a place of being dishonest with anyone. i told steve how much i loved him, and i told darrell too that the entire time he and … Continue reading holiday haka
is akin to running your fingernails down a chalkboard. (do any of my classmates know what a chalkboard is?) i listened to my airchecks for years when i worked in radio, but watching myself on video was still uncomfortable. we had to deliver 5-minute presentations for our Professional Communications class. Professor Kelley O'Brien is sharp. … Continue reading critiquing your own presentations