what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

have you ever hurt someone you love? 
have you ever done something so terrible it can never be fixed?
what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

i’ve been a coward
approaching relationships like a sixth grader
believing someone who loved me would always be there
letting fear trump empathy.

and now the person i want most in the world has slipped away
and i know that someone else is better for him than me,
because i took too long and balked too many times
and hurt someone who loved me openly with abandon.

so now i have to wish him the best
pray he is happy
find a way to focus
and make good with my life.

how do you let go of someone you love
when your mistakes are what drove you apart?
how do you let go of wanting that person?
and how do you forgive yourself?

 

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