38 first dates

i miss steve.
as darrell says, the end.

i took a friend’s advice and put up an online dating profile for two weeks then took it down. this led to a United Nations of first dates. i went out with a belgian, a german, a hungarian, a canadian, a brit, an american and finally, a kiwi.

the belgian was a carefree, traveling landscape artist. good conversation but 63kg. i learned from him voting is compulsory in belgium.

the german engineer had a baritone, monotone voice, and i think, lied about his age.

true to stereotype, the brit had bad teeth and was appalled by my being divorced, though he said his dad cheated on his mum for years.

the hungarian was fun to hike with but self-admittedly selfish. i imagine he will match well with someone much younger.

the canadian has been in korea for some time and now has a disdain for dating korean women. this i find distasteful, when western men make generalizations about asian women.

the american was handsome but no magic.

the new zealander is fun. i like him. he’s and the most like-minded in terms of politics and values, but i fear a narcissist. i know from experience i will never be enough for someone very insecure and self-centered.

the kiwi makes me think of both tula and steve. tula also followed or interrupted other people’s stories to share his own experiences, so great was his need to be accepted. steve, well, i think of steve all the time, but especially when the kiwi reaches for food first or orders before me or says something critical about a person. it may be that the kiwi is a narcissist. or it may be that i have little tolerance because i have little room in my heart.

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